“Once upon a time there was a woman who bought a goat.
She was so excited to get FRESH milk every day! She woke up early one morning, and with butterflies in her stomach she put her goat on the milking stand, poured some grain in the feeder, and started to tug. Nothing. ”Hmmmm”, the woman thought. She tugged and tugged.
After 30 minutes and approximately one teaspoon of milk later, the woman started to cry.
”Why can’t I milk this freaking goat?!”, she yelled to the sky.
Then the woman got the BEST idea! She raced inside and rummaged through some old boxes. She ran back out to the impatient goat. Using her old breast pump, the woman was able to extract all the milk from the goat.
Aaaaannd THAT is how MY first experience with milking a goat went. Yes, I used my old breast pump. Worked good too! Only thing was, I knew I’d eventually HAVE to learn how to milk my goat the old way. PRE-breast pump times.
How to Milk a Goat
Now I’m a pro at milking goats. I’m fully prepared for if I happen upon a goat milking contest. Two summers ago, I bribed my kids into learning for themselves. It took a whole summer, but my then 7 & 9 year old became pros at milking, too. It’s amazing what kids can learn if they are taught. And bribed. And I’m proud to announce that today, my adorable 8 year old is going to teach all of you how to milk a goat!…”